Are you an unpleasable parent? If your kids get C’s, do you want B’s—only to want straight A’s when they get B’s? Do you really want them to give up, like the Bible says they might? Unpleasable parents produce insecure children.

So how do you raise confident kids? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures” (NCV). If you want to raise confident kids, you’ve got to build them up more than you tear them down. You’ve got to give more cheers than jeers.

Many parents think, “If I balance it out and give an equal amount of positive to the negative, it will be okay.” No! You need to give about 10 praises for every negative you give. Why? Because the negative is what you remember. If you were to get 10 compliments and one criticism, which one would you go home and remember? If I get 10 cards that say, “That sermon really helped me out a lot” and one that says, “You’re off the wall!” which one do you think I dwell on the most?

You’ve got to overemphasize the positive, because you inevitably have to do the negative.

All children need somebody in their corner, somebody who’s their cheerleader and believes in them and says, “I know you can do it. I believe in you. I think you’re terrific. You’re the best. Go for it! I’m behind you. I know you can make it.” Kids need the confidence that only a parent can give.