If you want to stand out at work, you need to be likeable. If people don’t like you, they’re not going to trust you, and they certainly won’t promote you.

A lot of people think likeability is just a matter of personality. You’re either a likeable person or you’re not.

But nothing could be further from the truth. Likeability is not personality; it’s character. It’s behavior. It’s how you choose to relate to other people. Likeability is possessing the attractive attitudes—and those are choices—and the relational skills that cause others to want to work with you.

Do you want to be liked by other people? Here’s the big secret: Like them. That’s it. If you like people, guess what? They’re going to like you. If you don’t like people, they’re not going to like you. To be likeable, you just have to like people. You have to genuinely enjoy them. You have to choose to be interested in others and think less about yourself.

Joseph is a good example of likeability in Genesis 39:2-4: “Joseph lived in the home of Potiphar, his Egyptian owner. Soon Potiphar realized that the LORD was helping Joseph to be successful in whatever he did. Potiphar liked Joseph and made him his personal assistant” (CEV). Potiphar took a guy who started as a slave and promoted him to the manager of his household because noticed God was helping him succeed, and he liked him.

What are the attractive attitudes that make someone likeable? How about humility? Would you rather be around someone who is arrogant or someone who is humble?

How about cheerfulness? Would you rather be around somebody cheerful or grouchy?

How about empathy? When you tell others that you’re not feeling well, would you rather they respond, “That’s too bad” or “I’m really sorry. What’s going on?” When you’re empathetic with someone who is hurting, guess what? You’re likeable. Bosses like people who are empathetic to their stress, who understand, and who can look at a situation from somebody else’s point of view.

When you help somebody else succeed, then you’re going to be likeable. And when you’re likeable, you’re going to find success.