How God Uses Grief to Help You Grow

by Rick Warren — May 2, 2023
From The Keys to a Blessed Life

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.”

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Grief, loss, and pain are inevitable parts of life. But did you know that God uses these things to help you grow? He does it in three ways.

First, God uses pain to get your attention. C. S. Lewis wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.” Pain is God’s megaphone. We rarely change when we see the light. We change when we feel the heat.

Proverbs 20:30 says, “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (GNT).

Second, God brings good out of bad. One of the most famous verses in the Bible is Romans 8:28: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (NIV).

When you experience a loss, it’s an opportunity to grow in character. You can’t control the pain you go through, but you can decide whether it’s going to make you bitter or better. You decide whether it’s going to be a stepping stone or a stumbling block. Remember that, even in your pain, God is working for your good.

Third, God prepares you for eternity. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, “These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing. Things that are seen don’t last forever, but things that are not seen are eternal. This is why we keep our minds on the things that cannot be seen” (CEV).

You’ve probably heard me say before that you’re not taking your car to heaven; you’re not taking your jewelry or your clothes to heaven; you’re not taking your career to heaven. But you are taking your character. You are taking you.

God is more interested in your character development than in your comfort. Why? Because when you get to heaven, you’ll have plenty of time to be comfortable. But life on Earth is the get-ready stage; it’s the learning phase or the warm-up act. God uses your troubles here on Earth to get you ready for an eternal glory. That’s a comfort.

When you’re in pain, you need to ask, “What is God doing?” Is he trying to get your attention? Is he trying to bring good out of bad? Is he preparing your character for heaven?

You can trust him through it all.

Talk It Over

  • What does it mean that God is working for your good? Does it mean that God only lets good things happen to believers?
  • Why is it often easier to focus on today’s realities than on the promise of heaven?
  • How can you prepare yourself now so that you are ready to hear from God when you are in a time of pain?

Where will you spend eternity?

The Bible says you can only get to heaven by trusting in God through his Son, Jesus Christ. You cannot earn your way into heaven: “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV).


If you’re ready to commit your life to Jesus, start with this prayer:

“Dear God, you have promised that if I believe in your Son, Jesus Christ, everything I’ve ever done wrong will be forgiven, I will learn the purpose of my life, and you will accept me into your eternal home in heaven one day.

"I confess I have sinned, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus died to take away my sins and that you raised him to life. I want to trust Jesus as my Savior and follow him as Lord from this day forward. Please help me to be faithful and do your will. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen."

If you just prayed to accept Jesus, please email me at [email protected] and let me know about it. I’d like to send you some free materials to help you start your journey with Jesus.


Give hope, prayer, and encouragement below. Post a comment & talk about it.