One of the greatest tests of your character is how you treat people who are trying to serve you. Whether it’s a waitress, a waiter, a clerk, an employee, a secretary, your children, or your spouse, how you treat those who serve you tells me a great deal about you.

In fact, when I was involved in hiring decisions of church staff, I often took people to restaurants to see how they interacted with the server. Someone who was rude and demanding in those situations has a character flaw that I didn’t want as part of our team.

Jesus tells us, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31 NIV). That may be the simplest yet most important character test in the Bible.

Social psychologist Eric Hoffer once said, “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” It takes no intelligence at all to be rude.

The best place to practice this important character trait of respect is at home. More marriages are ruined by rudeness than anything else. When I used to do marriage counseling, I was amazed at how many marriages are buried by one little dig after another.

Have you noticed that sometimes we’re the most disrespectful to the people we care about the most? Our homes should be safe places to express our emotions and practice forgiveness and grace—but they are too often the place where we think we can get away with the most unkindness. I know people who treat their families in ways they would never treat a stranger. Yet even in our families—especially in our families—we need to be understanding, not demanding, and forgiving, not finding fault.

Courtesy is just love in the little things. It’s showing grace, because we understand there are hidden hurts everywhere. It’s showing respect for people by being kind, even in the smallest areas of our lives.