by Rick Warren — October 9, 2023
From 40 Days of Love
“Whenever you pray, forgive anything you have against anyone. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your failures.”
Mark 11:25 (GW)
When people hurt us, we have two natural tendencies: to remember and to retaliate.
But that’s not what 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us to do: “Love does not count up wrongs that have been done” (NCV).
So how should you respond to the people who have hurt you? How do you handle all of those wounds and hurts that you’ve stockpiled in your memory?
Don’t repeat them. Instead, delete them. Let the hurts go. Forgive, and get on with your life.
When we get hurt, we tend to repeat that hurt in three ways: emotionally in our minds, relationally as a weapon, and practically by telling other people.
First, we repeat it by going over and over it in our mind. But resentment is self-destructive. It only perpetuates the pain. It never heals; it never solves anything. Whatever you think about most is what you move toward. If all you think about is how much you’ve been hurt in the past, then you’ll only move toward the past. But if you focus on the future, then you’ll move toward the future. If you focus on potential, then you’ll move toward the potential.
Second, we repeat our hurt in relationships. We use hurt as a wedge and a weapon. We say things like, “Remember when you did that?” or “But you did this!”
The Bible says in Proverbs 17:9, “Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends” (TLB). Nagging also parts marriages and every other relationship you have. Nagging doesn’t work.
Third, we repeat our hurt by telling it to other people. It’s called gossip! We tell everybody else except God and the person with whom we have the problem.
Did you know that God hates gossip? He hates it as much as he hates pride—because that’s what gossip is. Gossip is pure and simple ego, or trying to make ourselves look and feel better. Every time you share gossip, you are being prideful, and God hates pride and gossip.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t repeat a wound so that it turns into resentment or gossip or pride.
Mark 11:25 says, “Whenever you pray, forgive anything you have against anyone. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your failures” (GW). This verse in the Amplified Bible says to “let it go.”
Love responds to hurt by letting it go.