Sooner or later, we all have to have hard conversations. Maybe a boss has asked you to do something that goes against your conscience. Or perhaps your perspective isn’t lining up with your parents’ point of view. When you need to have a difficult conversation, it’s important to approach the situation thoughtfully. You need to choose the right place, time, and words.

First, choose the right place. Always have these conversations in private. If you bring up the issue in a group setting, you may put the other person on the defensive.

A private setting allows for an open discussion without the pressure of an audience. Try humbly and privately asking, “Can we work this out?” With that approach, you’re more likely to succeed.

Second, choose the right time. There’s a right and wrong time to bring up an issue with anyone, whether it’s your boss, your teacher, your parents, or someone else. Timing is key. Don’t start a conversation when you or the person you want to talk with is tired, frustrated, or hungry. Wait until they’re more content and more likely to be receptive.

The Bible says, “There is a time for everything . . . a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7 NIV). Before you begin a hard conversation, ask yourself, “Is the timing right?”

Third, choose the right words. The way you phrase your request is important. Choose your words carefully. And, when all else fails, just be polite!

The Bible teaches, “A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is” (Proverbs 16:21 GNT). I like to remind myself, “I’m never persuasive when I’m abrasive.” If you’ve got an arrow to shoot, dip it in honey first.

The next time you’re facing a tough conversation, set yourself up for success. Make sure you choose the right place, the right time, and the right words. That will make it more likely that you express yourself clearly—and that the other person is receptive to your message.