There are probably things in other people’s lives that you’d like to change. You don’t want to change yourself; you want them to change. We always want to change other people. But you can’t!

You can, however, pray and let God do his work in other people.

Positive praying is more effective than positive thinking. All the positive thinking in the world isn’t going to change your spouse, child, friend, or situation. Positive thinking can change you, but it won’t change somebody else. But positive prayer can make a difference in someone else.

What’s the quickest way to change a bad relationship to a good one? Start praying for the other person! It will change you, and it can change the other person too.

Paul even told us how to pray for others: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9-11 NIV).

From these verses, we can learn to pray for the people in our lives in four ways:

Pray that they will grow in love: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.”

Pray that they will make wise choices: “So that you may be able to discern what is best.”

Pray that they will live with integrity: “And may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.”

Pray that they will become like Jesus: “Filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”

Pray this for yourself and anyone else in your life, and watch how God turns around the relationship that seemed hopeless or needed to be revived.