When Your Feelings Are Holding You Back

If you want to succeed in life, you must learn how to master your moods. When you’re dealing with an emotion that’s holding you back, you’ve got two options: You either change it, or you direct it.

Sometimes you need to change what you’re feeling. Some emotions are so destructive, so damaging, so hurtful, and so ineffective that the only thing you can do is change them.

Philippians 2:5 says, “Your attitude should be the kind that was shown us by Jesus Christ” (TLB).

Your attitude includes your emotions—so what you’re feeling should be the same as that of Jesus. You need to ask yourself, “How would Jesus respond in this situation? Would Jesus get irritated with this waitress? No. Would Jesus yell at that person? No. Would Jesus be up all night, wringing his hands and worrying that it isn’t going to work out? No. Would Jesus be fearful? No.”

Then you instantly dismiss any feeling that doesn’t make you more like Jesus. If Jesus wouldn’t respond to your spouse with that emotion, then you shouldn’t either. You drop that attitude, and you figure out what Jesus would do instead.

Sometimes you need to direct what you’re feeling. When my son Matthew died, I entered into the deepest possible grief you can imagine. But my wife and I decided from the first moment that we were going to channel that grief for good and use our pain to help other people. That’s one of the reasons Saddleback Church now hosts an annual conference on mental illness. I’m not about to waste a hurt I go through. I’m going to use it for good.

Your greatest ministry will not come out of your strengths and successes. Your greatest ministry is more likely to come out of your deepest pain.

What feeling is holding you back today? Name it. Then decide whether you need to change it or direct it, and then use it for good.