How to Show Grace in Disagreement

Unity is not uniformity. When God says he wants his followers to be united, it doesn’t mean he wants us all to be alike. If he had wanted that, he would have created us all the same!

For unity’s sake, we must never let differences in the church divide us. We should celebrate those differences while staying focused on what matters most: learning to love each other as Christ has loved us and fulfilling God’s purposes for each of us in his church.

But what about all those differences in church members who annoy you? How can you be unified with someone who irritates you to no end?

“Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently” (Romans 14:1 The Message).

In church—or anywhere—be quick to listen and slow to anger when you have a disagreement. Why? Because most people tend to look at how far a person has to go rather than recognizing how far they’ve already come.

If you knew how much someone had already overcome in life, you’d probably be rejoicing with them instead of criticizing them for where they are now.

When you have conflict with someone whose background you don’t know, don’t dismiss them or judge them for behavior that you don’t understand. Stop thinking, “What is wrong with this person?” Instead, ask, “What happened to them?”

Someone’s behavior might be shaped by trauma or crisis. Hurt people hurt people. When you find someone who’s hurting other people, if you dig deep enough, you’ll find that they also have been hurt.

The people that you think deserve your kindness the least are those who need the most massive doses of love. To achieve unity, offer empathy and compassion instead of judgement.

When you affirm someone’s worth and the story God is writing through their life, you don’t just change that one person’s life. You can transform a whole community!