You Can’t Connect If You Don’t Commit

Good relationships don’t happen by accident. They take cultivation, work, and a lot of time. They take commitment!

I can’t count the number of times my wife Kay and I have felt like walking out of our marriage, particularly in the early years. We often thought, “This is not worth it. We’re so different. This marriage will never work.”

But we didn’t walk out. Why? Because we’d made a commitment. We took a vow—“till death do us part”—not just to each other but also to God. So we said, “We’re going to keep this commitment even if it kills us.” And it nearly did!

There have been times in our marriage when the only thing keeping us together was that commitment—not love or interest but simply the commitment we made to God. I’m so glad we did not give up. Today, my wife is my best friend, and I cannot imagine my life without her.

The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (ESV).

Did you know that your socializing can keep you from having deep relationships? You can be so busy networking and making acquaintances that you never invest the time, energy, and effort it takes to cultivate the deep, satisfying intimacy of a good friend or spouse. It’s not wrong to have a lot of acquaintances, but they can keep you so busy that you don’t develop any vital, close relationships.

You don’t need a lot of friends to make it in this world, but you do need a few good ones. So focus on quality, not quantity. Your acquaintances—your hundreds of “friends” on social media—aren’t necessarily going to be there when you need them. But the friends you are truly connected and committed to will be there.

Every important, close connection begins with a commitment. If you want to get beyond shallow, superficial relationships, you’ve got to be willing to stick with it.