You Can Forgive Before You Trust

What’s keeping you from forgiving someone who’s hurt you? If you’ve been hurt deeply, you may hesitate to forgive because you’re not ready to trust that person again. Here’s something you need to understand: Forgiveness and trust do not necessarily go hand in hand.

Forgiveness does not mean there needs to be an instant restoration of trust. Forgiveness is instant; trust must be rebuilt over time. Forgiveness is based on grace; trust is built on works. You earn trust; you don’t earn forgiveness.

Many people don’t want to forgive others because they think they’d have to trust them again. But that’s not true. Trust and forgiveness are two different issues! Let me say it again: Forgiving someone does not mean you have to trust that person. They still must earn your trust.

In relationships where people struggle with addictions or abuse, forgiveness is still possible. But it doesn’t always mean things can go back to the way they were.

Forgiveness and the restoration of a relationship are two different things.

Forgiveness is only your part. It doesn’t depend on whether the other person asks for your forgiveness, responds to your forgiveness, or recognizes they need your forgiveness. You forgive for your sake.

Restoration of a relationship takes far more than forgiveness. It takes repentance. It takes restitution and a rebuilding of trust. And it often takes time.

Are you stuck in unforgiveness? Begin the process of forgiveness today. Then take all the time you need to rebuild trust.