Insecurity ruins relationships. But when you open your life to others, even though they could potentially hurt you, you’ll come alive in ways you’ve never experienced before.
Why does insecurity ruin relationships? Because it prevents intimacy. You long to be close, but you also fear being close. You long to have intimacy with others, but it also scares you to death.
You can’t get close to someone if there’s fear in the relationship. This is why living with your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t work in the long run. There’s no lifetime commitment. You never know when somebody is going to walk out.
But fear vanishes and intimacy—real intimacy—rises when two people say, “We’re committed to each other, no matter what. We’re going to make this thing work.”
What do you fear in your relationships? Maybe you don’t want people to find out what you’re really like, so you hide yourself. This is the oldest fear, going all the way back to Adam, the first man. He said, “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid” (Genesis 3:10 NIV).
When you’re afraid, you get insecure and hide who you are. You cover up, not just physically but also emotionally. You build walls around yourself and pretend to be someone you’re not.
But while insecurity ruins relationships, love builds them up. Love takes the focus off you and puts the focus on the other person. The Bible says in 1 John 4:18, “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid . . . this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (NLT).
The only way to love others is to realize that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Suddenly, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone anymore. You don’t have to be concerned about what others think because you’re in a relationship with Jesus, secure in the Grace of God.
You may have had some relational disasters in your life. In order to open up to others and fight insecurity, God wants you to first open up to Jesus. Let him fill you with his love so you can share it with others.
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