Selective Memory: Focus on the Good Times

Paul wrote the book of Philippians to the church that he started in Philippi, where a woman named Lydia opened up her home and, along with others, welcomed Paul to the city. The Philippian church even helped fund Paul’s missionary journeys. In Philippians 1:5, Paul says, “I thank God for the help you gave me” (NCV).

The thing is, Paul didn’t have a good time in Philippi. In fact, it was one of his roughest churches to get started. When Paul went to this city to start a church, he was beaten, whipped, humiliated, falsely arrested, thrown into prison, and survived an earthquake. Then he was politely asked by the city leaders to leave town.

Yet Paul told the believers, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God” (Philippians 1:3 NLT).

What is Paul doing there? He is choosing selective memory. Philippi was not a happy place for Paul, and he endured a lot of persecution and suffering during his time in that city. But he chose not to dwell on painful memories. Instead, he expressed his gratitude for the good things that had been done for him and through him.

The longer you know someone, the more likely you are to take that person for granted, look for faults, and remember the bad things instead of the good things.

Are you still clinging to some painful memories with some people in your life? You’ve never let them off the hook, and you can’t enjoy those relationships because you’re still holding on to the past.

You need to understand that memories are a choice. I heard a story one time about two friends who were talking. One of them asked the other, “Don’t you remember that time when your husband did this?” Her friend replied, “I distinctly remember forgetting that.”

Your memories are a choice. If you want to hold on to your painful memories, go right ahead. But you’re not going to be happy! Paul had a lot of reasons to focus on painful memories of Philippi. Instead, he chose to be grateful for the people in his life and the work God was doing in and through them. When you do the same, God will bless your relationships far beyond your expectations.