Love Is a Choice

The Bible teaches this about love: Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love—and you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it just kind of happens to you.

In fact, even the language we use implies that we can’t control how we love. We say, “I fell in love”—like it was a ditch! “I was just walking along one day and—bam!—I fell in love. I just couldn’t help myself.” But is that really love?

No, what someone really means when they say they “fell in love” is that they were attracted to someone. Attraction and arousal are uncontrollable—no doubt about it. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love.

Love is a choice.

During a wedding ceremony, a man and a woman stand before each other and say their vows. They say to the other person, “I choose you above everybody else in the world, and I choose you for the rest of my life.” They make a public statement of their choice—that’s a commitment.

You can’t force somebody to fall in love with you, and you can’t force him or her to stay in love with you. Why? Because love is a choice. Love cannot be forced. This is true of all relationships, including your relationship with God.

Deuteronomy 30:20 says, “You can make this choice by loving the LORD your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him” (NLT).

Just like in any other relationship, you must choose to love God. God isn’t going to force you to love him. You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you want to. God won’t force you to love him—because love can’t be forced. Love is a choice.

In what relationships do you need to choose love today?