We all have people in our lives who exasperate us. They might be demanding, disapproving, or demeaning. Perhaps they’re self-centered and focus every conversation on themselves. Or maybe they just love to argue or complain.

Whatever they do, it drives you over the edge. It makes you want to call up your best friend and say, “You won’t believe what they did!” In other words, these are the people who make you want to gossip.

What is gossip? It’s when you talk about someone behind their back rather than going to that person directly. It’s sharing information about someone with another person who is not part of the problem or the solution. In its essence, gossip is a form of retaliation.

In the short term, gossip may make you feel better—but it actually lets the person you’re gossiping about win. It allows that person to control your conversations and emotions. Suddenly you’re spending your time talking about that person instead of all the positive things in your own life.

Gossip is incredibly destructive too. The Bible says it like this: “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9 NLT). Gossip destroys churches, families, and businesses. It separates close friends. It can even destroy your life.

But you don’t have to let it. It’s your choice not to gossip—and to instead choose to bless the other person.

The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:9, “Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult. But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing” (NCV).

You can gossip and miss out on God’s blessing.

Or you can choose to have positive conversations and use words that lift others up. In doing so, you will receive God’s blessing in your life.